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If someone was to go camping in the middle of nowhere and they had no food, it would be up to them to find something to eat. Due to where they are, the food that they need is not going to be delivered to them.
In the same way, when someone goes to a social club or at an event, for instance, they will most likely also need to make an effort. This might not be the case if they are extremely attractive or famous. On The Sidelines If they were to stand around and didn’t engage with others, they could start to feel as though they are being ignored. Seeing other people talking and having a good time is then going to be hard for them to handle. Along with being ignored, one could even feel as though they are not welcome there and feel the urge to get away. Their mind is going to be busy creating a whole story around what is taking place. Lighting the Flame If they want to get involved and no longer want to be on the side looking in, it will be essential for them to take action. Instead of passively waiting around for something to happen, they will be the ones who will make something happen. Coming from this place will also mean that they are focused on what they can give and not on what they can take. Their whole energy is then going to shift and they will be less likely to have a draining effect on others. One Option What one could do is to start talking to people as soon as they arrive as this will stop their mind getting in the way. They will then arrive at the venue and they won’t allow their energy to drop by waiting a little while before they interact with others. If they were to wait around and allowed their energy to drop, it is likely to be a lot harder for them to get themselves moving again. Their mind can end up coming up all with all kinds of reasons as to why they shouldn’t do anything. The Main Thing When they talk to people when they arrive, it doesn’t really matter what they say; what matters is that they are in the right place. If their energy is right and they feel good, in addition to making sure that they are dressed well, everything else can just flow. Their body language can end up taking care of itself, and other people can be happy to be around their ‘vibe’. Saying ‘hey’ or ‘how’s everything going’, for example, can be enough to get the ball rolling. An Important Point But, no matter how good their vibe is, it doesn’t mean that everyone they approach will be responsive. There can be a whole host of reasons as to why another person wouldn’t respond in a positive manner. This person could be having a bad day or they might not have very good social skills, or one could remind them of someone who they had a bad experience with in the past. The key will be for one to do what they can to allow this experience to pass through them and to move on. Action In the beginning, one may find that it is a challenge for them to behave in this way. This is because they will be behaving in a way that is not familiar and, to their ego mind, what is not familiar is a threat to their survival. One can then see this as a process and not something that will happen straight away. If they don’t have this approach and expect it to happen instantly, they can weigh themselves down with unnecessary pressure and end giving up altogether.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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In the same way that a bad smell can cause someone to leave a room, a bad energy can also cause them to do the same thing. But, while a bad smell can be something that will typically register at a conscious level for someone, their conscious mind might not typically be aware of when they are around a bad energy.
However, even if someone is not consciously aware of what is going on, it won’t stop them from taking evasive action. Thus, as their body has picked up on what is taking place, it won’t matter if their mind hasn’t. A Drain If someone was to spend even a few minutes in the company of someone who has a bad energy, they may soon start to feel as though their life force is being sucked from them. Spending an hour in this persons company is then going to greatly damage their wellbeing. This person is not going to need to say anything to have a negative effect on others; they will simply need to show up. They could then wear smart clothes and expensive aftershave/perfume, yet it won’t make much difference. A Key Element What this illustrates is that when it comes to being able to connect to other people, it is not just a case wearing the right clothes and having a smart hair cut. Being in the right place internally is also important. In fact, if someone’s appearance is not as good as it could be but they have a good energy, it might not matter. Another person will simply enjoy being in their presence, causing them to overlook the aforementioned aspects. Adding Something Ultimately, when someone has a negative energy, they are going to be like an energy vampire. Instead of having something to give to another person, they will only be interested in taking their energy. Unconsciously or consciously, or both, the other person will realise this and feel the need to get away to conserve their energy. On the other hand, when someone has a positive energy, their priority will be to give, not take, which will be far more appealing to others. How Does This Look? When this happens, it will be as if someone has something to give to other people. What they have to give them won’t be something physical, but it will have a positive effect on them nonetheless. So, let’s say that someone was to go to a dance class or even to an event, it will be essential for them to make sure that they are in a good place mentally and emotionally. As what is taking place within them will be what they end up directing towards the people who they come into contact with. A Magnet There are undoubtedly going to be some people who won’t respond well to them, that’s just part of life, but there are likely to be plenty of people who do. These people will happily bathe in the energy that they are giving off. On some level, these people will realise that one is not trying to take their energy, thereby allowing them to relax and to be. And, as they don’t need to protect their energy and they are receiving energy, they will be more likely to give their energy in return. Action Now, this doesn’t mean that someone should neglect their appearance or no longer wash; what it does mean is that where they are at at an energetic level is something that has a massive effect on their interactions with others. With this in mind, it will be vital for them to pay attention to this part of themselves and to do what they need to do to be in a good place internally. To achieve this, they may need to breathe deeply before, and during, their time around others. What may also help is spending time in nature and trying something like Qi Gong as this can allow them to release trapped energy and re-enter themselves.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one was to order their favourite meal, and this was at a restaurant that they have been to before, there is a storing chance that they will be looking forward to the moment when this food arrives and eating it. In this example, it could be said that their expectations won’t have much of an effect on what the meal is like.
Even so, what they will do is allow them to experience positive thoughts and feelings, and this could also have a positive effect on the people who work at the restaurant. The positive responses that these people receive from them can end up being mirrored back to them. One Step Back What is taking place within them will have an effect on their body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, what they say, and even the energy they give off. However, what is taking place within them will also have had an effect on how they behaved when they arrived at the restaurant. And this will have made it even easier for the people who worked there to respond to them in a positive manner. This shows how powerful their expectations are when it comes to the kind of experience that they will have in this environment. Just One Example It doesn’t end their though, as this is just one of the ways in which one’s expectations will affect their life. For instance, if one was to go out and to socialise, what is taking place within them will have a big effect on how people respond to them. This means that in order for one to receive positive responses from others, it is not just going to be enough to them to look the part. Their inner world will need to match up with how good they look on the outside. The First Step Not only this, their expectations can also define whether or not they will even go out to begin with. If, one thought about going out but they didn’t expect other people to talk to them or even to notice them, this could stop them from leaving their house. Or, they could have negative expectations and end up going out, only to find out that they should have listened to themselves. When something like this happens, it will show that one is not aware of how their expectations are shaping their life. One Option Though having negative expectations when it comes to how other people will respond to them, and having these expectations mirrored back to them, they may have developed a negative view of themselves. It is then not that they are playing a part in how people respond to them; it is that people just don’t like them. It is then going to be a challenge for them to feel good about themselves, and they could even feel down and depressed. Yet, unless they change their inner world, they will continue to experience life in the same way. Trapped One is then going to be in a prison that they can leave at any moment, but it won’t be possible for them to realise it. So, for as long as they have the same outlook, they will continue to suffer. Fortunately, one has the power to bring this to an end; they simply need to see why they are experiencing life in this way and to make the necessary changes. One can then go from seeing themselves as a victim, to seeing that they were victimising themselves. Action When it comes to receiving positive responses from others, one could imagine people responding to them in a positive manner. This could be done throughout their day and whenever their mind brings up an example of when this didn’t take place. Along with focusing on what they will see, they can focus on how they will feel. This can allow them to reprogram their mind and it will soon have an effect on how they behave.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one was to think about the people they are closest to, they are likely to think about their family and/or friends. When they start to think about them, it might not take very long for them to feel good.
On one hand, there are going to be the experiences they have shared together, and on the other hand, there is going to be how they respond to them when they get together. During this time, they could find that they are happy to see them. Appreciated One is then not going to feel as though this is someone who doesn’t want to be there, and this is naturally going to have a positive effect on them. But if this doesn’t take place, it could be a sign that something isn’t right. Perhaps their friend or family member is going through a bad patch, and is unable to embrace them in the same way. Even so, this is going to be the exception as opposed to the rule. A Momentary Effect After a while, they could meet them again and they could end up greeting them in the way as they usually do. There is then going to be no reason for one to change how they perceive them. However, if something like this started to happen on a regular basis and they didn’t open up about what was going on for them, they might begin to wonder where they stand. At first, they might not get too caught up in what is taking place and give them the time to go back to how they were, or they could ask them about what is going on. An Important Part What this shows is how much of an effect this part of an interaction has, and it could be said that this is because it is the first part. It is then similar to how the first mouthful one has of a meal can define whether they eat anything else. As if someone changed their behaviour every time one met them, they could start to think about if they want to see them. For example, one moment someone could be approachable, and the next they could come across as indifferent. Normal Therefore, if one was to come across someone like this, it is to be expected that they are not going to warm to them. Instead, they could prefer to come into contact with people who are consistent. Through reaching out to these people, it is going to be a lot better for their own mental and emotional well-being. Once they realise that someone doesn’t behave in a consistent manner, it can be natural for them to avoid them, or at the very least not to go out of their way to meet them. Self-Esteem If one was to overlook how someone behaves and they were to continue to go out of their way meet to them, it could show that they don’t value themselves. This is down to the fact that they can end up spending time with people who are not good for them. It could be said that this can also show that one is willing to empathise with what someone is going through, and this could be the case. Yet, if this is causing them to suffer in the process, one is going to be using their empathy in a destructive manner. The Opposite Position With the above in mind, it can allow one to see how important it is for them to come across in the same way. This is going to allow other people to know where they stand, and they can be more inclined to reach out to them. In fact, this could mean that other people will be only too happy to reach out to them. If they come across as friendly, for instance, it can mean that people are generally going to find them easy to be around. Emotional Strength At the same time, in order for one to behave in a consistent manner, it is going to be necessary for them to be able to handle their emotions. As if they are unable to do this, they could find that they have no control over how they behave from one moment to the next. The mood they are in can then end up defining how they come across, and this is going to make their life harder than it needs to be. This is not to say that one always has to keep a lid on how they feel, but there will be a time and a place for them to open up about what is going on for them. Action If one finds it hard to control how they feel, there are number of things that they can do. Firstly, they can become aware of what is taking place, and see if this allows them to change their behaviour. Alternatively, they could reach out for external support, and this can be provided by a therapist. It can all depend on how much of an impact this is having on their life, and how they respond to a certain approach.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When one knows someone, it can be easier for them to talk to them, and this could be because they know how the other person will respond to them. As a result of this, they are less likely to think about what they are going to say.
It is then going to be possible for them to have a conversation, and there will be need for them to be caught up in their mind. They can be present and allow the interaction to flow. Strangers However, when it comes to starting a conversation with a ‘stranger’, it is not always as easy. For one thing, one doesn’t know how the other person will respond to them, and this can make it harder. In fact, this could be something that stops one from reaching out to someone else, and while this can make them feel better in the short-term, the same can’t always be said in the long-term. As time passes, they may wonder why they didn’t just ‘go for it’. Short-Lived When this happens, they can end up feeling even worse, and this can then cause one to punish themselves. There is also the chance that they will be able to put it to one side and to look towards the next opportunity. Once the next chance appears, they might end up going for it, and this could then allow them to forget about what happened. Having said that, this might not happen, and it is then going to be another opportunity that has passed them by. Interested Also, when one starts a conversation with someone they know, they might be interested in how they are. In this case, they are not talking to them because they want something from them; they are talking to them because they want to give something to them. This is not to say that they won’t talk about themselves; what it comes down to is that one is not completely focussed on their own needs. The other person can then see that they are trying to connect with them, and this can then cause them to return the favour. Intention There is also the chance that this won’t happen, and that the other person won’t ask about one’s life. And while this may cause them to experience discomfort, it might not, and this is because one’s intention was to give and not to get. As a result of this, it can be easier for them to handle the moments when someone doesn’t respond to them in a friendly manner. If, on the other hand, they were looking to receive something, it is going to be a lot harder for them to handle these kinds of experiences. Relationships This is not to say that one should have relationships that are one-sided; what it comes down to is when one’s intention changes, their experiences can also change. If this was something that happened on a regular basis in one’s close relationships, for instance, it could be a sign that they need to walk away. It could be said that when one speaks to someone for the first time, it is to be expected that it will be different to how it would be if they were talking to a close friend. For one thing, they don’t know the person, and so there is no reason why they should have any expectations. A Different Approach If one was to approach someone they haven’t spoken to before with the intention of giving them something, they are less likely to worry about how they will respond. They might not even think about whether the other person will accept them or not. And because they are coming from a different place, they are also going to come across differently. Therefore, if the other person doesn’t respond in a positive way, it is not going to be the end of the world. Giving They simply wanted to make the other person feel better in some way, and when this isn’t possible, they are less likely to get caught up in what happens. The other person may sense that they are not trying to get anything from them, and this could make them feel more at ease in their presence. When one can put their needs to one side, it is going to be a lot easier for them to focus on what they can give. Whereas, if they are generally focused on what they can get; it is going to be a lot harder for them to do this. Action If one is used to focusing on what they can get, they may start to feel uncomfortable when they focus on what they can give. However, the more one does this, the easier it will be. Through changing their approach, they are likely to find that they end receiving more than they did before, and this will then allow them to give more. This doesn’t mean that one has to give something physical either; it can just be a case of one being interested in another person.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
There are going to be times in one’s life when they meet someone for the first time, and how they greet them is likely have a big impact on what happens after they have met. This is because the other person’s first impressions are going to be heavily influenced by what takes place during this stage of the interaction.
How one greets someone they have met before will still have an effect on how the other person sees them, but they may have already formed an opinion of them at this point. Having said that, it is still going to be important for them to embrace the other person, and this partly comes down to the fact that impressions can change. Different Approaches Now, if one has known another person for a certain amount of time, they might greet them with a handshake. However, this can all depend on what kind of relationship they have with them, and if they feel comfortable getting closer. When they feel comfortable getting closer, they might give the other person a hug. Each person is then embracing the other and it could be taken as a sign that they appreciate each other. Culture This is something that can also depend on what part of the world they are from, and how there are some countries where hugging is seen as normal. And along with this, kissing is also part of the greeting process in certain parts of the world. For example, if someone is from a warm climate, there is the chance they will hug people when they meet then, whereas, if they are from a cold climate, there is less chance that this will occur. This shows how people are influenced by the weather. Embracing Another In order for one to shake another person’s hand or to hug them, it will be important for them to face them. This is not something that can take place through sitting down, and if they were to stay where they are as opposed to embracing the other person, it is not going to create a positive impression. The other person can end up feeling as though the other person doesn’t want to see them, and unless one wants to create a bad impression, they will need to make sure this doesn’t happen. Having said this, if one is going through a bad time and the other person realises this, it might not have a negative effect. Other Factors Standing up and shaking or hugging another person is not the only thing that matters though, there are other factors involved. Another thing that one will need to do while this takes place is to make eye contact and to smile. Through this, the other person will be able to feel acknowledged, and this could be described as the first step. If this doesn’t take place, it might not matter whether one shakes their hand or hugs them. Emotional State While each of these steps could be described as a technique, one may find that they take place naturally when they feel a certain way. What his shows is how important ones emotional state is, and how this something they need to get right when they meet someone. How they feel on the inside will be picked up by the other person, and this is likely to take place unconsciously. One may try to hide how they feel through using different techniques, but it is unlikely to work if their inner state doesn’t match up with their behaviour. Inside Out Therefore, it is going to be important for one to get in touch with how they feel before they meet someone, and if they don’t have time to do this, they may need to make sure they apply the steps that have been mentioned above. Action If one doesn’t usually greet people in this way, it might be something that feels uncomfortable in the beginning, but as time passes and they continue to behave in this way, it will soon become second nature. And while one can change how they feel in order to change how they behave, they can also change how they behave in order to change how they feel. What this means is that as they begin to change how they greet people, their inner state may also change, and this will make it easier for them to appreciate someone.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
There are going to be some people who have always had good posture, and there will be others who have developed their posture during their adult years. However, there will also be people who had good posture at one point in time and then ended up going the other way, and others who haven’t taken the steps to correct their posture.
Now, if this was something that someone could overlook, it wouldn’t matter how they hold themselves. But as it is something that will have a big impact on their life, it will be important for them to pay attention to their posture. Two Sides How one holds themselves will not only affect how other people see them, it will also affect how one sees themselves. This is not to say that other people will consciously think about one’s posture; as this can be something that takes place unconsciously. One could also be in a similar position, and not realise how they are being influenced by how they hold themselves. This could be because they have held themselves in a certain way for a while. Standing up Straight When someone stands up, there can either stand up straight or they can slouch over. If they were to stand up straight, have their shoulders back, and their head held high, they are going to create a certain impression on others. There is a strong chance that other people will respect them, and they might even believe that they hold a position of authority. So through holding themselves in this way, it is going to have a positive influence on their personal life and on their career. Slouching Over However, if their body is not straight and they end up slouching over, they are going to create a completely different impression. Other people might find it hard to respect them, and they might end up looking down on them. And even if they do hold a position of authority, the people they meet may find it hard to believe. This is also likely to be something that ends up having a negative effect on their relationships with others. Standing Out Although someone could be classed as tall, if they don’t stand straight, they might not standout. As a result of this, they could end up being overshadowed by someone who is a lot shorter. How the shorter person holds themselves has then given them the upper hand, and made up for the fact that they are not as tall. It is not that people don’t notice the person who is taller; it is that they don’t have the same presence. Personal Experience When one stands up straight or sits up straight when they are sitting down, it is also going to have a positive effect on how they see themselves. Their posture can cause them to respect themselves, and it could cause them to experience a sense of control. And while their posture can cause other people to respect them, they are also going to expect other people to respect them. This can make it easier for them to handle the situations in their life where other people disrespect them. Positive Reinforcement Through having good posture, one will be able to feel good about themselves, and these feelings will end up being reinforced by how other people respond to them. This shows that there are two reasons why someone should have good posture. Yet, if one has bad posture, it is going to be harder for them to feel good, and how they feel could end up being reinforced by how other people respond to them. Fortunately, one can change how they feel and how others respond to them by changing their posture. Creating a Better Impression There is no need for someone to have bad posture and they can begin to change how they see themselves. Through doing this, it will only be a matter of time before other people start to view them differently. This is not to say that this will happen overnight, but if one sticks to it their experience of life will change. How long it takes can all depend on whether one needs to make a few minor changes or if they need to make changes that are more significant. Action One thing that one can do is to stand in front of a mirror and to see how they look; this will give them the chance to see if they stand up straight. From here, one can look at what they need to focus on. Another thing that can enable one to improve their posture is to take part in some kind of exercise.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
During those moments when one is in a crowded place, it is not going to be possible for them to maintain their personal space. The space that they need in order to feel comfortable is not going to exist.
This could be something that one experiences everyday or it could be something that takes place every now and then. If one lived or worked in a city, for instance, this is going to be something that they are used to. When this isn’t the case, one could experience it when they travel to a city for work or if they were to go there on holiday. As a result of this, it will be something that most people have experienced at one point or another. A Difference If one has lived in a city their whole life, there is the chance that they will have adapted to this kind of environment. Yet, if one has lived in the country or in an area that is not built-up, they are likely to have a greater need for space. The first person could move somewhere quieter and while they might enjoy having more space, they may begin to feel disconnected. On the other hand, if one was to move to a city they would no longer have as much personal space and this could cause them to feel overwhelmed. Distance However, even if one is used to being extremely close to people they don’t know, that doesn’t mean they will be happy to accept this in other contexts. They will need their space just like the people who live in areas where they don’t need to get as close to people. How much space they need will depend upon who someone is and how they behave towards them. For example, if one was around a friend, family member or a lover, they are not going to expect them to keep their distance. Closer They will feel more at ease with them being closer; unless they have had some kind of disagreement or fall out. This level of comfort is likely to have been something that has developed over time. If it has happened without a short period of time (as it can if one has only just become friends with someone or if they have allowed a family member back into their life), it will come down to how the other person has behaved. The other person’s behaviour will have caused one to gradually trust them. Strangers When one meets someone for the first time, they are usually going to feel the need to maintain a certain distance. If the other person was to get as close to them as a friend or a family member does, there is a strong chance that they will feel uncomfortable. Just as if one was to get too close to the other person, they would also start to feel uncomfortable. Yet, as each person gets to know the other, they might no longer feel the need to maintain their distance. Context If one was meet someone who they were attracted to, they may feel the need to get close to them straight away. It would be easy to say this is the wrong approach, but it could be the right approach. What it could come down to is what their intentions are; as if one wanted to have a relationship with them, it might not be the best option. But if this was not what they wanted and as long as the other person doesn’t feel uncomfortable, it might not be a problem. Violation Yet, this is generally not going to be the best approach when it comes to everyday life. In these cases, coming on strong and ignoring the other person’s personal space is likely to have a negative effect. For one thing, one is going to come across as though they don’t respect the other person. They are also going to feel violated, and as they don’t feel safe in their presence, it is not going to be possible for them to trust them. First Impressions If one comes across in this way the first time they meet someone, it could end up being the last time they meet them. What this shows is how important first impressions are; as once one has formed an idea of someone in their mind, it usually stays with them. Action Certain distances have been recommended when it comes to how close one should get to another, and these will depend on the context. One way to approach this is to pay attention to how other people respond. Through focusing on the other person and observing their body language and facial expressions, one will be able to see if they are too close. Another way of doing it will be for one to empathise with the other person and to imagine how they would feel if they were in the others person’s shoes.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ It is often said that human beings are ‘social animals’ and this is because they are interdependent. So while one may see themselves as being an individual, this is not the complete truth. The person they have come to be is the result of the experiences they have had with others and in order of them to maintain the identity, they will need to have the right experiences. This means that if one was to live in isolation, their sense of self would soon start to disappear. Connecting It is therefore vital that one not only reaches out to others, but that they also respond when other people reach out them. Another way to describe this would be to say that one can’t just take in life, they also have to give. If one was to only take from others, they would be seen as selfish and people would avoid them. Whereas, if one was to only give to others, they would end up being walked over and they would have no energy. Manipulation However, just because someone is there for others, it doesn’t mean that they are actually interested in them. They could come across as being interested, but it could simply be a way for them to get what they want. This means their intentions are not clear and that they have an ulterior motive. At first, people might not notice, but as time passes, their true colours will gradually appear. The Experience One could ask how another person is, what they have been up to or how they are getting on with something. After hearing this, the other person could be only too happy to share this information with them and it could cause them to believe that the other person is interested in what they have to say. Now, if one has an ulterior motive, they will be asking these questions in order to get a certain response. It then doesn’t matter what the other person says, as long as one creates the right impression. False Empathy If one was to place their attention on how they behave, they could come to believe that they have empathy. However, appearances are often deceiving and while their behaviour might look right, it doesn’t mean they have empathy. It could be something they have learnt over the years and this means that it is just a technique that they apply to achieve their desired outcome. Their true intentions could be revealed due to them being inconsistent or the other person might sense what is happening. Real Empathy When one is interested in others, it doesn’t mean they won’t have a reason, but what it does mean is that it won’t be an act. It will be who they are as opposed to something they do. It could then be said that their interest in other people is not only coming from their mind, it is also coming from their heart. And this means that while behaving in this way will have a positive influence on their life, this is not the only reason why they do it. A Different Experience This person is interested in other people’s needs, feelings and preferences. When they interact, they are putting their own experience to one side and their attention is on the other person. And because they are genuinely interested, the other person will know that it is not an act. If they can’t accept one’s intentions, it could be due to what is taking place within them. Reaching Out However, if they are able to accept that the other person cares, it may lead to one of two outcomes. If they already know the other person, it will affirm the relationship they have or it could become even stronger. When it relates to someone they don’t know, it could be the start of a new relationship. Here, one might end up with a new friend, client or lover, for instance. It Goes Further Taking an interest in others and caring about what they have to say will also benefit people they don’t meet. This is because when one feels as though they matter, they will be more likely to treat others in the same way. It then becomes a ripple effect and one will never know how much of a difference they have made. There is then the impact this has one’s life, the impact it has on the people they meet and how these people go on to treat others. Action If one finds it easy to empathise with others, then this is going to be normal for them. Yet if they don’t, they will have to develop this ability. One can start off by imagining what it would be like to be in the other person’s shoes. This will give them a sense of what they are going through and therefore, what one can say to them. And the more one does this, the easier it will be for them to connect with another’s experience. It will be a lot easier for one to do this if they are in touch with their emotions and their heart. So if one is not in touch with this part of themselves, they might need to work with a therapist, healer and/or a support group. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ There are people who always seem to have a smile on their face and then there are other people who are not as expressive. They will smile from time to time, but it won’t be as often as someone who smiles freely; it could be said that they like to hold back. However, when it comes to something as powerful as a smile, it could be said that one doesn’t need to hold back. At times it is going to be important for them to express themselves differently and yet, this is not to say that one should feel bad for smiling. The Context As a human being, one has the ability to express themselves in many different ways and each expression they have is going to have a purpose. One might find that they’re able to use the right expression to get the response they want from others in most cases. This will show that one is aware of their expression and the effect they are having. There is also the chance that one is not aware of their expressions and this is likely to mean that they end up getting responses that they don’t want. Facial Expressions Their facial expressions could then end up being a mismatch and this could cause them to offend others or to simply push them away. If one is aware of their facial expressions, it will allow them to make the changes they need to make. The problems will arise when one is not aware of the part they are playing in how other people are responding to them. While one is not completely responsible for how other people respond to them, it would be inaccurate to say that they have no affect either. Listening Let’s say that one was with a close friend or someone else they are close to and this person was talking about something important. As one respects and values the other person, it is going to be important for them to listen to what they’re saying. Firstly, one is going to need to keep quiet and they might even tilt their head to show that they are listening. And as well as this, one will need to mirror the other person’s facial expressions and/or to express themselves in a way that matches the mood of the interaction. Mismatch If, on the other hand, one didn’t look at the other person and expressed themselves in a way that invalidated the other person for instance, the person who is talking might end up feeling disrespected and angry, amongst other things. And as the person who is talking is important to them, one is likely to realise how important it is to get this right. It could then be something that just happens; without one having to think about it. First Impression When it comes to making a good first impression, one is going to want to express themselves in the right way. There are many things that one can do, and one of those things is to smile. This puts other people at ease and this is because when one smiles, they’re not coming across as unfriendly or as a threat. Other people are able to see that one is approachable and this then gives them the permission or the all clear to reach out. Other Interactions So this will play a part in one being able to form a good first impression, and it will also have a positive affect on the other interactions that one has. For instance, if one smiles when they meet a friend, it shows that they are happy to see them. Their friend is then likely to mirror back their reaction, that’s if they’re not already smiling, and it’s likely to enhance the interaction. The same would apply if one was about to go on a date with someone. If one smiles when they see the other person, it can allow the other person to feel more relaxed. This can then mean that the interaction is able to get off to a good start. Influence Smiling is then something that can allow one to have more influence and a greater impact on others. This is because it will play a part in how they feel in ones company and therefore, how one is perceived by others. And through smiling, one is also going to feel good and this is another reason why it is good to smile. This shows that smiling not only has a positive impact on other people, it also improves ones wellbeing. Action If one is not used to smiling, it might feel uncomfortable at first but as time passes, this will soon change. One option would be to observe other people and then to model their behaviour. If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have. Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/ |
AuthorOliver JR Cooper - Author, Transformational Writer & Consultant - With Over 1,712,000 Article Views Online. My Books...
A Dialogue With The Heart - Part One
Trapped Emotions
Childhood
A Dialogue With The Heart - Part Two
Toxic Shame
Abandonment
Child Abuse
A Dialogue With The Spirit
Trapped Grief
Why Does He Behave That Way? Why Do I Behave This Way?
Boundaries
Inner Child
Childhood Trauma
People Pleasing
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